Wall Street parties through bad data, gold shines, and the Fed’s rate-cut magic show takes center stage. 

Well, folks, another week in the books, and what a weird one it was. It was like watching a car crash in slow motion, but instead of looking away, Wall Street decided to throw a party. The August jobs report was so bad it made the last season of Game of Thrones look like a masterpiece, yet stocks barely flinched. This week, we're all holding our breath for the inflation numbers, which could either pour gasoline on the fire or finally bring some sanity back to this market.

Buckle up, September volatility is just getting started.

Past Week's Market Scorecard

The market spent last week looking at the economic data like a dog watching a magic trick—confused, a little scared, but mostly just hoping a treat would appear. And in a way, it did. The S&P 500 hit a new record high on Thursday, closing at above a stunning 6,500, only to trip over its own feet on Friday after the jobs report from hell. It ended the week around 6,480, a slight dip but still hanging on like a cat on a screen door. Bitcoin, meanwhile, continued its quest for world domination, climbing to over $111,000. And the 10-year Treasury yield? It plunged to its lowest level since April, which is the bond market's way of saying, "I've seen this movie before, and it doesn't end well."

Last Week’s News Headlines

• August Jobs Report Misses by a Mile: The big story of the week, and what a story it was. The U.S. economy added a measly 22,000 jobs in August, a number so low it made economists wonder if everyone had just decided to take an extra-long Labor Day weekend. This was a massive miss from the 75,000 jobs expected and, combined with a downward revision for June (which now shows a net loss of 13,000 jobs), it painted a pretty grim picture of the labor market. The market's reaction was classic "bad news is good news," with investors betting this would force the Federal Reserve to cut rates aggressively.

• S&P 500 Hits a New Record High, Then Stumbles: Before the jobs report rained on everyone's parade, the S&P 500 was flying high, closing above a record 6,500 on Thursday. The market was running on fumes and the hope that the upcoming jobs data would be just bad enough to justify a rate cut, but not so bad as to signal a full-blown recession. It was a delicate balancing act that, in retrospect, was doomed from the start.

• 10-Year Treasury Yield Plummets: The bond market, which is usually the adult in the room, took one look at the jobs report and hit the panic button. The yield on the 10-year Treasury note plunged to 4.091%, its lowest level since April. This is a classic flight to safety, with investors piling into government bonds as they brace for an economic slowdown. It also means borrowing costs are getting cheaper, which is the only silver lining in this whole mess.

• Bitcoin Holds Strong Above $110,000: While the traditional markets were having a nervous breakdown, Bitcoin was chilling. The cryptocurrency held steady above $110,000, seemingly unfazed by the drama. Whether this is a sign of its growing maturity as an asset class or just the calm before the storm remains to be seen, but for now, Bitcoin investors are feeling pretty smug.

• Corporate Bond Market Booms: In a sign that large companies are still able to borrow money with ease, the corporate bond market experienced a surge in activity last week. Companies like Merck and Ford issued a whopping $56.4 billion in new debt. This is good news for these companies, but it also raises questions about whether they're taking on too much debt in an uncertain economic environment.

• ADP Report Shows Private Payrolls Slowing: The official jobs report wasn't the only bad news on the labor front last week. The ADP private payrolls report, released on Thursday, showed that private companies added only 54,000 jobs in August. This was another miss from expectations and a further sign that the hiring boom is well and truly over.

Gold & Hard-Assets Watch

Gold had a week for the ages, reminding everyone why it has been a safe haven for thousands of years. The yellow metal blasted through $3,500 an ounce and didn't look back, fueled by a perfect storm of a weak jobs report, a wobbly dollar, and the near certainty of a Federal Reserve rate cut. Goldman Sachs is now calling for $4,000 gold by mid-2026, and some are even whispering about $5,000. It seems that in a world of uncertainty, nothing shines quite like gold.

Real-Estate Pulse

The housing market got a shot in the arm last week, with mortgage rates taking their biggest one-day tumble in over a year. The average 30-year fixed rate is now hovering around 6.29%, which could tempt some buyers back into the market. However, with consumer confidence shaky and a potential recession on the horizon, it's unclear if lower rates will be enough to spark a full-blown housing recovery. For now, it's a market of two minds: cheaper to borrow, but scarier to buy.

Key Events This Week

Earnings To Watch This Week

Social Media Sentiment

Social media was a dumpster fire of hot takes and panic this week. Reddit's WallStreetBets was a mix of diamond-handed bravado and outright fear. At the same time, Twitter (Sorry X) was flooded with armchair economists predicting everything from a new Great Depression to a hyperinflationary spiral. The general mood? Confused, angry, and looking for someone to blame.

Wrapping Up

So, what did we learn? We learned that bad news is good news, until it isn't. We learned that the Federal Reserve is basically the market's fairy godmother, ready to sprinkle rate-cut dust on any problem. And we learned that in a world of chaos, gold is still the king. The week ahead is all about inflation, so expect more volatility, more wild predictions, and more reasons to question the sanity of it all. Stay nimble, stay informed, and for God's sake, don't panic-sell.

Behold the power of beehiiv

This newsletter? It’s powered by the platform built for growth, monetization, and jaw-droppingly good reader experiences.

From sponsorships that actually pay you fairly to referral programs that grow your list on autopilot, beehiiv gives publishers, creators, and writers the tools to grow their newsletter like never before. And yeah, it is just that easy.

Power your content with beehiiv